madermouse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3/18/03 I wanted to offer you some practical advice for really kicking up your workout. Do you want to make your workout feel harder and more strenuous? Sure, we all do! Because if its more strenuous, then you�re burning more calories. Okay, all you�ve got to do is follow these simple steps. 1) First, get really sick, stay in the hospital doped up for weeks, have surgery and have an organ removed, preferably one that they say you can live without. Listen to the doctors when they tell you you�re totally cured and everything will be fine from here on out. 2) Find out later said doctors were lying through their teeth. Nothing works the same in your body! Spend months recovering, feeling like crap, alternating between crapping and not crapping and realize your whole existence is totally craptacular! 3) When you finally do get better don�t appreciate it. Instead feel depressed because you lost 6 months of your life and your entire savings that you�ll never get back. Focus on the size of your doctor bills (exceeding $55,000), the loss of your health, and the pain of your experience. Get really moody & don�t bathe for 3 and 4 days at a time. Refuse to find the joy in little things. Don�t laugh and feel very alone even when people try to reach out to you. Eventually make people stop reaching out to you with your bad attitude and the black storm cloud that overshadows everything you do. 4) Then, just when you start to get your head out of (your ass), uh, I mean mental gutter, and you physically feel well enough to start exercising again, develop another debilitating disease that makes you wonder what the hell you did to deserve this. Spend months begging doctors to help you while they tell you its all in your head. Cry from frustration in the examination room until they offer to prescribe you anti-depressants which they say will fix all of your problems. 5) Finally, when you do find a doctor to listen to you and give you some medication for your very REAL illness, eliminate every food from your diet that you love. Give up coffee, chocolate, cheese, citrus fruits, spicy Asian & Mexican foods, pizza and everything else you can think of. Arrange your life so you can finish with dinner 3 hours before bedtime even if that means being unable to join your husband for dinner. Keep doing that every day for two months. 6) Now after you�ve done all these things (basically a summary of my life the past year) go into your living room and pop in the easiest exercise tape you own. For me it was the 2-mile walk with Leslie Sansone. Half-way through, find yourself wondering if you�ve ever actually walked two miles before!? Question Leslie when she cheerily states, �Doesn�t it feel good to move?� Notice towards the end that you�re too tired to wipe the sweat that�s stinging your eye, then immediately flop on the floor and pant like a cheetah. Wonder why you ever thought of giving away that tape. Okay, okay�maybe its not practical advice but it will certainly catch anybody up on my life story if they haven�t read all the back journals. Seriously though, I couldn�t believe how red my face was and how much I was sweating from the 2-mile walk tape. I felt like I was 375 pounds again!! Whew! It was quite the experience for me, to feel that much exertion again. I�ve really let myself go in the physical fitness department. I mean, I�ve done occasional walks here & there but nothing like the exercise regime that I had going on in the very beginning. And even though I�ve maintained my weight all this time, I shudder to think of how much muscle has been sacrificed at the hands of illness and my sedentary life. Now begins the slow process of building it back up again along with my stamina and (hopefully) my health. Finally, I wanted to say that a reader turned me on to the greatest site. If you�re interested in charts, graphs, and logging in all of your daily food intake online ::FOR FREE:: I advise you to check it out! http://www.calorieking.com/ 2:52 p.m. - 3/18/03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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