madermouse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3/14/03 I�m 259lbs and holding� and I�m damn determined not to see anything in the 260�s again. (unless it�s pure, unadulterated muscle!). Filling out Courtney�s �Success Files� interview made me remember that my mom promised me a cruise if I made it under 200 pounds. I had nearly forgotten about that. Could it be true that the only thing standing in my way of sunning myself amidst a light tropical breeze on a cruise ship and sitting here in rainy, gray Oregon is a mere 59 pounds? That seems such a reasonable amount when you put it that way, doesn�t it? If I didn�t know better, it almost sounds like an incentive. But incentives or not, the wheels have been turning again inside my head. You know which wheels I�m talking about. They are the force behind change. They are the ones that drive you make better choices and not because you�re being required to, but because you want to. They are the ones that remind you how good it feels after you exercise and the blood is pumping through your veins and you have that euphoria washing over you. They are the ones that remember the way your body responds to healthy foods and water. They are the ones that refresh old memories of marathons walked and goals reached. Yep, I�m talking about those wheels that are slowly creaking to life inside of me. This sensation is familiar and comforting to me. It�s like I know what�s coming up around the bend and I�m trying to contain my excitement about it. It�s like I don�t want to jinx it. But little clues sneak out here and there in my daily routine. For instance, I ordered a brand new exercise video last week. (something I�ve never done btw�it was Goodwill or gifts that kept me in exercise videos) Earlier this week I found myself circling the gym that�s about 10 blocks from our house. I stopped myself from eating last night when I wasn�t hungry. Instead of sitting and waiting for the bus to come, I kept walking to the next bus stop just for the extra exercise. What do all these things mean? Well, not much yet. But let�s just say that I�ve noticed subtle positive changes in my behavior and attitude lately and I�m happy about it. I hope you all have a good weekend! 2:52 p.m. - 3/14/03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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