madermouse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1/25/02 You know - I�m totally willing to give almost any exercise video a chance...even if it was produced in the 80's and all the ladies are wearing hot pink leg-warmers and have big bangs. Heck, I�ll even put up with the cheesy 80's Beverly Hills Cop music and neon green headbands! BUT come hell or high water - as soon as I�m being told to �wiggle� as part of the step aerobic routine - that�s it. They�ve lost me forever. I�m done, period end of story. Which is what happened this morning with a new Denise Austin video I was trying. What the hell are grown people doing wiggling anyway? Puleasse....like I don�t feel like enough of a dork in my living room.....like I need to be told to wiggle on top of everything!? Anyone even thinking of trying Denise Austin�s �Step� Aerobics (1991) video - just save your money please. The set is cha-cha-cha-cheesy. But beyond that, you can barely hear Denise�s voice above the crappy music. Like I said, even with all of these things, I�ll usually deal with them if the routine is powerful and interesting....which this was neither. The first 5 minutes, after the warm-up, was a simple up-up-down-down segment. The monotony was almost enough to make me cry, but I stuck it out. Then she slowly (and I mean S*L*o*w*l*Y) started incorporating other steps into her routine. All of which, I�m sure I could count on one hand. Maybe this tape is for beginners. But still - I think even a beginner would be devastated with the tedious �ness� of this workout. It was mind boggingly bore-ring but I had added another level to my stepping bench at the start to keep my heart rate up. So despite this, at least I was still getting a workout. I�m just about to fall asleep...and then she said the magic words, �Alright! Come over the top, tap up tap down, and WIGGLE!!� Then she giggles girlishly. AAAARRRRRRGGGGGG!!!!! I stopped and stared at the t.v. - completely incensed. I know I didn�t just hear her tell me to wiggle. But then much to my dismay, she repeats herself. �Tap up tap down and WIGGLE!!� and she giggles again. That�s it. I�m looking all over for the channel changer to turn the damn tape off and throw it in the trash when she changes her tune. Alrighty then. UP up Down down, that�s more like it.. No more of that wiggling shit. She must�ve cued us to wiggle only about 4 times.....any more than that and she would�ve been living with the maggots in the dumpster behind my building. DO YOU HEAR ME DENISE AUSTIN!?!? DUMPSTER. MAGGOTS!!!! So...today marks 6 days of exercise under my belt - again. I�ve taken my calories down to 1600 for 5 days in a row now. I haven�t eaten any candy, honey, jam, sugar, or any dessert-type thing for 5 days now either. So its really no surprise when I got on the scale today and its on the move again. This time in the right direction. Sugar is evil!! I�m not a person to qualify certain foods as evil or bad. But nutritionally speaking, sugar is the White Devil, man! Its terribly addictive... Have you seen the Simpson�s episode where Marge gets a law passed that all sugar is banned in Springfield? All the shelves of the Quick-E-Mart are empty and poor Apu (pronounced Ah-Poo) has to shut down... Meanwhile all the kids at school are lying on the grass at the playground, rolling around moaning and shaking with sugar withdrawls. So that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but its not too far from the truth. I DEFINITELY felt major withdrawls the past 5 days without sugar. So - just to let you all know what the hold-up is - my computer doesn�t work. It must�ve been damaged during shipping or something because it worked perfectly just 3 weeks ago when I was at my parent�s house. I have the worst luck, I�ll tell ya. And my bike, although we finally got it put together, has something wrong with the chain. A friend of my husband came over to look at it and try to straighten out the chain, but it still makes a terrible sound when you ride it. Oh well...at least it doesn�t ask me to *Wiggle* !!!! 1:50 p.m. - 1/25/02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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