madermouse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1/2/03 The above picture is a representation of me & hubby in our new apartment - away from our psycho bitch neighbor. The wistful expression on our face stands for the joy we are feeling when the sunshine comes in our windows in the morning. In our old apartment, our windows faced our psycho bitch neighbor�s windows across a 7 foot cement walkway. Nary has an actual sunbeam crossed my feet in almost 3 years, and boy was it warm when it did today. The red hair of the woman in the window resembles the hair I�ve always had in my dreams�full and red and curly. Notice she�s thin and lanky with not a care in the world about exercising or eating properly. Nope. She�s just breathing the fresh breezes that come by her new apartment window. See the potted flower? It�s happily soaking in those sunrays and doing its little photosynthesis thingy and growing stronger. See the man? He�s gazing in the direction of the love of his life�me�and probably thinking about how wonderful his life is. Aaaaahhhh� Seriously though, I am enjoying our new place. And although it�s been so much work, (and there is still much more work to be done), I�m feeling more content and peaceful than I have in a long while. There�s something refreshing about digging through your stuff, giving away things you don�t use, moving everything into a brand new space and re-organizing. It�s a good cleanse to purge the excess crap and start out fresh in a clean environment. Taking possession of the place on the New Year was also quite symbolic for me�.new beginnings, new cycles of life. I�m hoping that this year will prove to be a better year for my health, my happiness, and my heart. (Please and thank you Universe!!) I packed up my scale since the last time I weighed in, and haven�t checked it since. Right now my weight has been my last concern. Not only do I have to watch what I eat sooooo carefully anyway because of my ulcer (very little fat, no dairy, no cheese!!, no rich desserts, no acidy stuff, no large meals, no spicy stuff), but I�ve been pulling 18-19 hour days that chocked full of physical activity. I doubt I�m in any danger of gaining weight right now! Mostly, I�m just thankful that I�ve had 6 good days in a row. I�ve had 6 days that I�ve felt almost normal again, almost human. That hasn�t happened since the beginning of November. And although I don�t want to jinx anything�I�m starting to feel a little twinge of hope inside me. When I look in the mirror I don�t see such a bleak, sad face staring back at me. I see someone who might actually laugh again. 2:48 p.m. - 1/2/03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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