madermouse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11/7/02 Not a long entry today, but I thought I�d share a couple of things with you. This morning, I woke up bright and early at 7:30am � without an alarm, mind you � and my first thought was �I want to exercise today.� PEOPLE � did you hear me??? I said, my first thought after waking up from a dead sleep, was that I WANTED to exercise!!! When I realized what I had just gone through my mind, I wondered if the clouds were going to part and a bolt of lightening was gonna strike me dead or something! That is the first time that�s happened since maybe February or March or maybe even before that. Up until now, I�ve been scuttling through my exercise like a high school student trying to squeak by on exams by reading the cliff notes. So, that made me happy. The exercising part still wasn�t that pleasurable or exciting or thrilling or anything like that. I still cursed the �Zone 3� part on Kathy Smith�s Plateau Buster like I normally do. Especially when she declares that �Zone 3 is very difficult and you need to watch your intensity level.� Ya, no shit Sherlock!! Also, I still wanted desperately to stop when I was on number 70 of 100 sit-ups in the ab section of the video. Even so, I was pleased that for one measly day I didn�t have to force myself to exercise. That was a treat. Speaking of exercise, I�m sooo glad that nobody was watching me exercise last night. I went downstairs after work, started my car, and tried to pull out of my spot�to no avail. I had a damn flat tire. I had no jack, and no way to get back up into my office. (I conveniently left my new ID Badge sitting on my desk.) Luckily a kind lady let me borrow her cell phone to call my insurance company for a tire change. So I waited. And waited. And waited�.and waited. After about an hour I realized I could be in this for the long haul. Unfortunately, earlier that morning I decided to sleep in instead of performing my exercises. I planned on doing them after work, but as the clocked ticked later and later, I realized I wasn�t going to have the time (or energy) to do them when I got home. So I decided to do them right there � in the parking garage. First I did some light stretching to warm up. I walked around the circumference of the garage a few times to get blood in my legs flowing. Then I found a curb that was roughly the height of my stepping bench, and I did some basic step-aerobic moves. I did kicks, leg-extensions back, open-turn steps, knee-ups, over the tops, around the worlds, pulse squats and anything else I could think of. Before I knew it, I was sweating bullets and breathing hard. I kept it up for at least 20 minutes, bouncing from curb to curb. I finished by taking a moderate walk around the parking garage a few times to cool down. Now my only hope is that there are no security cameras down there, or I�m going to be embarrassed!! Plus, this morning, I had an irrational fear that I would end up on one of those stupid �Funniest Home Video� shows. I can just hear the announcer in his cheesy, patronizing voice say, �This woman couldn�t afford a gym so she does her exercises in the parking garage at her work! Now that�s dedication folks�� I�ll leave you with the image of me alone, in the parking garage doing the Charleston on a concrete curb. November 12th, 2002 WORK IN PROGRESS I am discouraged. After reaching my 18th day of straight, hard exercise and doing pretty damn good on my diet, I still haven�t lost even a gram of weight! I weighed myself this morning because I ate a chocolate bar and some cookies on Sunday night, and I wanted to see how much damage I did. This is my line of thinking: �If I�m doing everything right, I don�t need the scale. But if I�m NOT doing everything right, I need to weigh myself daily until I get back on track.� I figure this will keep me motivated when I�m doing great, and will provide awareness when I�m not doing so great. Don�t worry, I�m not going to run out and gorge myself on donuts or chocolate. I had my breakfast already, and ate a very healthy low-calorie lunch. I carefully planned my dinner just to avoid any emotional eating I might be tempted to do later on. But dammit, I�m still angry. This is ridiculous! What has changed so much that I cannot lose weight by doing everything I�m supposed to be doing? I�m stumped. Especially because after all these months of just �doing the bare minimum� you�d think my body would respond to all this exercise and dieting!? There isn�t even a change in my measurements either. At least if the tape measure would�ve reflected some sort of loss I would�ve been happy as a clam with that! But NO! Oh well, I�m not going to dwell on it. Tomorrow is another day and next Tuesday will be another week and maybe those pounds will finally just drop off me miraculously. In the meantime, I�m going to keep doing what I�m doing and pretend it doesn�t bother me. 2:43 p.m. - 11/7/02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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