madermouse's Diaryland Diary

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A Poem for Thomas

Haven�t I wedged you out yet?

thirteen years and I still expect
to find your spot on the bed empty
to find your one bag packed
and a letter stuck to the fridge
(a place you know I�ll find it)
scrawled in your perfect penmanship.

I get worse as I age
my craziness
this low dragging depression
this fat which consumes me
those quirks that were once enduring
grit on your compassion
eroding it thin
like pantyhose
with a run in the toe
soon to become
useless.

I have a feeling I�m going to pay
for your devotion
for your loyalty
for cooking a good enough steak
that your belly rumbles
at the thought of me
that you keep coming back
long after you�re full.

5:45 p.m. - May 24, 2004

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