madermouse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3 inches and holding... 3 inches lost and holding... That�s my big accomplishment for the past two weeks. I haven�t lost a single pound yet. In fact I gained 3 last week and lost them again. (my t.o.m.) At any rate, I�m perfectly happy and fine with this. I�ve documented my calories and a few days I went way, way over. I know where I could make adjustments and see a more dramatic loss. But see, that�s what�s different this time. I already did the dramatic weight-loss thing. Now I�m going to do what I can live with. For now, at least I�m losing inches and exercising 5 or 6 days a week. For now, at least I�m not binging until I�m sick day after day. Not only this, but I have been exercising and I feel myself getting stronger. My muscles are building again. I can do more than 2 squats without collapsing. I found myself doing aerobics this morning and at the 25 minute mark, I felt like doing more! To me, all these things are accomplishments. Don�t get me wrong � I�m sick over Spring coming and I have absolutely nothing to wear. Yes, it�s still humiliating to be sweating in a 70 degree room. Of course, I still have trouble looking at myself naked in the mirror. Gaining 40-some pounds has a lot of unwanted side-effects that I�m still having to live with each and every day. But for the past year I just basically gave up. At least now I�m doing some things right. At least now I'm paying attention and really living in my body. 9:46 a.m. - April 08, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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