madermouse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Turtle and the Hare If you haven�t already, you MUST read today�s post at http://skinnydaily.com/. Ironically, it says exactly what has been on my mind the past 4 days � focusing on the successes rather than the failures. I have a lot of failures. I have a lot of mishaps. I�ve fallen off the wagon for nearly a whole year and I have no legitimate excuses for that. I should�ve never started my diet on 1500 calories, I don�t know what the hell I was thinking. I read someone�s journal who was my size and that�s what she did so I decided what was good for her was good for me. I was a fool. I could go on and on with all the ways I�ve screwed up since I started this journey, I could fill up volumes of books with all the fuckups. But today when I woke up, I knew that I wasn�t going to beat myself up for a change. Since my little turn-around 4 days ago, I haven�t stayed within my calorie range even once. Yesterday was awful � I went over by like 1100 calories!! But instead of beat myself up over it, I decided to focus on the positives. Yes, this is highly unlike the Heather (the glass is half-empty) girl you know. I wrote in my little personal diary today, �The most important thing to me is that I don't beat myself up over it. I've had lots of bad days in the past year, and each time I look in a mirror or put on clothes or encounter an old obstacle, I remind myself of what a screw-up I�ve been. But NOT TODAY!! Today I'm going to remind myself that I am on a new journey, that I will recognize the good with the bad. I am going to keep counting my calories, keep logging everything in....to keep myself aware. AWARE!! This week was my first week to get used to logging stuff in, to exercising and drinking water. Starting next Tuesday I will shift my goal to staying within my calorie range. Then I�ll work on reducing the sweets in my diet and so on. Regardless of how I�ve screwed up in the past, I'm still proud of myself today for what I�ve done.� And that�s it. I want to really make this time different from the last with regards to my thoughts and my approach. Slow and steady really does win the race and this time, I�m the turtle. 2:30 p.m. - March 26, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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