madermouse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8/20/01 �First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.� -EPICTETUS, Greek philosopher Read the above passage. Now read it again, slowly. Absorb it. Know it well enough that you could lie in bed at night and count this passage instead of sheep. Think of this passage like a magical key, that can unlock any door in your life that you wish. Let this passage be your mantra, that strengthens you when you feel weak. First, it�s the power of belief. You must believe that you are good enough, you are worthy of change. You have to believe that you can and will transform yourself into something else. And then it�s the power of action. Use your energy to set goals and strive to reach them using your body, your will, your strength. That�s the formula to weight loss, to life my friend. And unfortunately, it doesn�t come in the form of a pill, shake, or nutrition bar. Guess what folks, it takes more than calling a friend and whining about your weight problem....while munching on a bag of chips. (one of my favorites) Its not going to go away no matter how much crying you do at night, quietly, so as not to wake your husband in the middle of the night. You won�t get thinner by wishing, hoping or praying you�ll wake up and it was all a bad dream. You can�t reform your body without reforming your actions. Because every action has a reaction....it�s the law of science. I know this, because I was this person. I was so afraid of getting bigger that I was getting panic attacks in the middle of the afternoon, for no apparent reason. So I would grab a candy bar, a soda, and a bag of chips from the vending machine to soothe my discomfort. Then I would sit at my desk, (while eating my snack) and imagine what dinner would consist of. I�d console myself with thoughts of mashed potatoes, smothered in cream gravy and a pat of butter floating on top, served with two pieces of greasy fried chicken. The grocery store was my #2 favorite pastime. You can probably guess what my #1 favorite pastime was....use your imagination. Yep, you guessed it - eating. My #3 favorite pastime was going to restaurants. I do, after all, live in the city where there are more restaurants per capita than any other city in the United States! My #4 pastime? Well, that was cooking food. I used my husband as an excuse for cooking so much food. I used to say, �You know Thomas eats big portions!� But I never admitted that I ate BIGGER portions than him - at least in the privacy of my own kitchen....long after the guests had gone home. My #5 pastime was sleeping....because that was the only place I felt beautiful. Sleep was my escape to a world where I was light as a cloud, and lovely as a young maiden in love. I seldom felt fat in my dreams. Its where I hid from the oppressive reality of my size. I loved to sleep. Thankfully, my actions have caused reactions in my life. I have changed. This weekend I found myself discovering a pastime I never even considered for myself before. I went on a little 3-mile hike through the woods. The trail was rocky, and steep in some parts. I found myself enjoying the trek and relishing the challenge of it. I try to picture myself doing the same thing 87 pounds ago...and realize that it wouldn�t have happened. I simply couldn�t have physically or emotionally done it. It just wasn�t �me�.
�First say to yourself what you would be;� a musician an artist a writer a poet an active person an athlete a traveler �And then do what you have to do.� 12:43 p.m. - 8/20/01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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