madermouse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5/29/03 It�s amazing how much owning a car (or rather NOT owning a car) changes your life. I gave back my car to the dealership 9 days ago. As I left it behind, I did get a little teary-eyed because I know I�m going to miss the freedom it gave me. But at the same time, it felt really good to be relieved of the responsibility of the car payments, the upkeep, the gas, the constant fear of an accident and an insurance increase. I�ve had my rough patches, of course. This past Saturday it really hit me that I was car-less. Saturdays are usually my day for MAJOR errand running. I do my exercises and then run out the door. I go to Farmer�s Market for vegetables, then drive to the oriental market for specialty Asian foods. Then I�d go to Food 4 Less (a cheap, giant, bag-your-own-groceries) and buy the meat and staples for the week. I stop in at Trader Joes for the best low-fat cheese (www.cabot.com) in town and Dr. Bronner�s soap and frozen stuff. After the shopping I usually had at least 5 other things on my list to do � the bank, the pet store etc. But this Saturday, without a car, I only got 3 errands ran!! It was a weird feeling, to be constrained by the bus schedules and time. I felt like a fish out of water itching to swim! I was beside myself when I had to make the choice of whether to go to the Farmer�s Market or to ride the bus to a friend�s garage sale. I never had to actually CHOOSE between two things before. (or ten things for that matter) But ultimately, it was very freeing to be a bus rider. I found myself at Farmer�s Market and not tied by my parking meter for the first time in years. So when I normally would�ve been checking the time to get back to my meter - I instead decided to walk to city center and window shop. I peeked my head in little shops that I never new existed and found my way to all sorts of new places I�d never seen before. The next thing I knew, two hours had gone by and I had been walking the whole time. When I got to the bus mall, the next bus home wasn�t due for 30 minutes. So I took a bus that would put me about a mile from my house and walked the rest of the way. I ended up walking about 4 miles on Saturday in addition to my weight training! What a great feeling! The last time I didn�t have a car I was at my heaviest weight. I wouldn�t have DREAMED of walking anywhere but exactly where I needed to go and back. It gave me that sense of change, knowing that I was (in fact) a different person than I used to be. I forget that sometimes. Anyway, I find myself walking to the store rather than waiting 30 minutes for the bus. That adds and extra mile to my day�s exercise total. I walk to and from the bus everyday, which is a half a mile total. I know it�s not much, but it adds up and it doesn�t feel like exercise. It just feels like I�m doing what I need to do to get where I want to go! I�m excited about the prospect of becoming healthier because of not having a car. Plus, I want to start riding my bike more. I really need a new bike though � the one I have is just falling apart. (and it�s only been 1 � years) I want a bike that allows a more natural position for my back too, if that�s even possible. Anyone out there who has knowledge about bikes, I�d really appreciate any advice. I�m looking for a good street bike that will be used for riding on pavement mostly, and that will give me a more natural position for my back. Right now, riding a bike really hurts my back, my forearms, wrists, and shoulders. Being hunched over like that, supporting most of my weight with my arms makes for a painful experience, which is why I haven�t spent more time doing it. My exercise has been fantastic! I�m so proud of myself for really sticking to it. It�s been two months and I can feel that I�m getting stronger again. I�m almost to the place where exercising every day isn�t this big production. Nope, its just something I do because its part of my routine. Its just like brushing my teeth or taking my pills or going to work. And, occasionally, I�ve even found myself wanting to get out and be active �just because�. These are old feelings I used to have when I was first losing weight, so I�m really thankful to be back in this headspace again. Not everything is sunshine and rainbows, of course. My calorie consumption is still way too high. I am really trying to keep it to a weight-loss level, but I�m only succeeding about half the time. As you may know, nights and weekends are just the worst for me. I do great all day at work with my planned meals. But when I get home I want to be stuffed. Period. I don�t want to eat a little salad and some veggies and another damn chicken breast. No. I really struggle at night. The same rings true for weekends. I usually do very well during the day but find myself at a friend�s for dinner eating Doritos, pasta salad & 400-calorie Hebrew National dogs with a thick slice of Monterey jack melted on the top. (or something just as evil) There is something about the weekends that makes me feel like I should be �treated� for being good all week. I know this is such self-destructive thinking, but old habits die hard. For now, I�m just trying to do a lot of extra physical activity on the weekends to counteract my higher intake. And I�ve started distracting myself at night after work with what I call �pleasure� walks. This is a walk I do after dinner with the intention being pleasure, not exercise. I stop and pet a cat if I want to. I am allowed to avoid the hilly neighborhood if I want to. I can make it as long or as short as I want to. I don�t have to even break a sweat if I don�t feel like it. The goal is to simply get out of the house and away from the temptation of the fridge and that whole stuffed feeling. So far its been working fairly well, and I end up spending about 30-40 minutes leisurely walking around my neighborhood without feeling pressured to perform. Now, I am so excited to tell you about what I bought today � BOSU. It won�t be here for 7-10 working days, but when I get it I�ll let you know what I think. If any of you have tried it, please advise! I�ve included several links if you�re interested. http://exercise.about.com/library/blbosu.htm http://www.snewsnet.com/cgi-bin/snews/00745.html http://www.bosupro.com/scripts/cgiip.exe/WService=bosupro/story.html 2:56 p.m. - 5/29/03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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