madermouse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11/19/02 I get a copy of the �Eating Peacefully Newsletter� via my e-mail, and I�ve copied it here for your reading pleasure. (see below) The doctor�s name who wrote this article is Annette Colby, PhD, RD, and you can visit her online at http://www.power-nutrition.com/ or you can e-mal her at [email protected]. Her topic �Failure� today came at an interesting time. You see, my goal date of November 25th is steadily approaching. I don�t know if you remember, but I wanted to lose between 5-8 pounds by this date before I went home to see my parents. I worked really hard for two solid weeks, with no weight loss, and no loss in my measurements. You could say this discouraged me a little. This morning, I stepped on the scale to find that I have actually gained another half pound. Which is no surprise. Since my last weigh-in, I�ve spent a great deal of time feeling sorry for myself, being stressed out and over-eating. I haven�t exercised in 8 days (after my glorious 17 days of straight exercise), and I�m feeling weary and tearful and frustrated for not doing what I know I should be doing. In short � I feel like a damn failure. My face is fuller. I hate my clothes�I have nothing to wear that looks good on me. Mostly, when I see my reflection, I see a manifestation of self-loathing. How can this be healthy?? I looked at my ID Badge from October and I swear I look nothing like that person right now! I feel desperate�the way a junkie might feel when they�ve sold everything they owned, they�ve lost their job, they�ve spent all of their cash, and they finally have nowhere to turn for their fix. Its at this point, they see prostitution as a viable option. And I don�t feel like I�m any better off right now. What will I do? Pills, powders, WLS, Bulimia? When will I break and give in to something that holds a promise of a fix to my problem? I just can�t be a failure. Some little part of me knows its true � that I�m not a failure. Some part of me is still rooting, �Go � Heather, you can do it! Go Heather � don�t� give up!� And I�m listening, but my full attention isn�t there. I feel distracted by promises of things that will get me to where I want to be�.faster�easier. I just found out my friend of 11 years is having surgery � this Friday morning!! He didn�t want to tell me, he was afraid of judgment. I laugh, thinking, �Who the hell am I to judge?� I�ve been thinking of the most irrational ways to lose weight�I won�t even say them aloud. Just look at me�floundering and flubbering and freaking out for an entire year! I�m not a person to judge another for bringing an end to the suffering from obesity. Instead I commend him for taking that leap of faith�one that I still cannot even seriously consider for myself. Now, after all this painful talk, I�ll share with you the contents of the newsletter. If it didn�t help me tonight, I�ll read it again tomorrow�.on a fresh mind, at the start of a new day, and hope it will ring true when applied to me. �Virtually nothing comes out right the first time. Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. The only time you don't fail is the last time you try something, and it works. One fails forward toward success. ~ Charles Kettering ~ {inventor} I have missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions, I was entrusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. ~ Michael Jordan ~ Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. ~ Robert Francis Kennedy ~ The power which resides in man is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FAILURE "There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no insurmountable barrier except our own inherent weakness of purpose." Elbert Hubbard (1859-1915, American Author, Publisher) Failure is one of those life experiences most of us would rather not encounter. It's associated with self judgement and negative worth. Often, people are hesitant to begin working on their food and body challenges because of past failures. They would rather not fail again. They say, "Oh well, I tried", and take the failure as "a lesson to be learned". Too often, they conclude that the lesson is, "I better not try that again." Somewhere in our lifetimes, the word failure became synonymous with the word "loser." There's often great embarrassment and even shame for grownups to have this experience. As children we repeatedly allowed ourselves to fail. Without failure none of us would have learned how to walk, talk, write, or even ride a bicycle. As adults, we shy away from new experiences to avoid risking failure. Let's say you've tried to lose weight several times before -- with great success. Only to have experienced gaining it all back again. So why bother trying again? People will see you as a failure and judge you negatively (although not nearly as harshly as you judge yourself). They will have pity on you and gossip behind your back. You certainly don't want to endure that again. TRUTH ABOUT FAILURE "Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also." Carl Jung (1875-1961 Swiss Psychiatrist) Failure is not bad. Actually, it's probably the only way you will ever become successful. The obstacles, setbacks, and failures are part of your successful journey. Failure is really just feedback telling you how to adjust your plan. It is essential to success. While it's certainly a giant leap to welcome it with open arms, perhaps begin with acceptance that failure is part of every successful journey. The only true failure is when people give up. Actual failure is when we beat ourselves up and learn nothing from our setbacks. Confucius is quoted as saying, "Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall." If we embrace our failures along with our successes, learning from each, we will grow and achieve. The only people who never fail are those who never try. A little known formula for success is that success happens because of failure. Legend has it that Thomas Edison tried 10,000 different filaments before successfully creating the electric light bulb. When asked if he ever felt discouraged with so many failures, he answered none of his attempts were failures. They were each successful experiments in finding what didn't work! Henry Ford went bankrupt 3 times before he created a car that worked. Colonel Sanders was 65 years old when he tried to sell his chicken recipe. He took this recipe to over 1000 restaurants before he found a buyer. Walt Disney spoke with over 297 banks before he was able to attain a loan for his successful dream. The National Weight Control Registry is a research study that seeks to gather information from people who have successfully lost at least 30 pounds and kept it off for at least one year. They report that everyone who successfully loses weight and maintains this weight loss has tried to lose weight before. Part of their success was that what they had learned from past failures. THE LESSON OF FAILURE What's the lesson in this? Successful people fail more often than unsuccessful people. In fact, they fail over and over and over again. It's the failure's themselves that provide learning experiences. Wisdom and experience to succeed comes from failure. Successful people don't give up because they've failed. Instead they sit back and view these experiences as learning opportunities. To be successful, we need to design an alternative paradigm for failure. Allow yourself to see whatever happens not as failure, but as "information." Gather and access this new information and revise your plan. Figure out how to adjust your plan and decide what the next step will be. Keep going. Immerse yourself in other's success stories and model your behavior in a similar fashion. Failure can be used as another tool on your journey to a deeper appreciation of self and love for self. Failure can be used either as a way to close your heart down even more to yourself and others, or failure can be a stepping stone to opening your heart even further. You can view failure as evidence of your inherent internal flaws as a human being. Or you can look to find the emotional and spiritual lessons embedded within the failure. To be human is to experience failure. Nothing is, or ever was, wrong with you. Failure can guide you towards a leap of faith. You can overcome any obstacle, any problem, any situation. Find within you the courage to walk towards what you really want in life. Learn to encourage yourself. Love that you are overcoming fear and attempting something new - no matter what the outcome. Of course there will be failures along the way. You're learning an entire new set of skills. When you occasionally fail -- get up, dust yourself off, access the new information, believe in yourself, and begin again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ POSITIVE NOTES Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it. ~ Goethe ~ Copyright 2000, Dr. Annette Colby, all rights reserved. This content may be forwarded in full, with copyright/contact/creation information intact, without specific permission, when used only in a not-for-profit format. If any other use is desired, permission in writing from Annette Colby is required. Please forward this issue to your friends, family and associates if you think they might be interested in it. Anyone can subscribe or unsubscribe by visiting http://www.power-nutrition.com/newsletter.html The mailing list is confidential and will NOT be resold, shared or otherwise disclosed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2:46 p.m. - 11/19/02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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