madermouse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10/29/01 - halfway there I�ve crossed that mark, the 100 pound lost mark, 102 to be exact! As of this morning, my weight was 273lbs. I surpassed my October challenge goal by 2 pounds :) I feel good about that. October Challengers - I want to hear about your successes! Please e-mail me personally by November 3rd with your story and I�ll update the October Challenge page to reflect the changes. And anyone out there who (Vicki...hint....hint...) wants to set up a November Challenge or something similar - I�m game. My only long-term goals are that I�m going to post new pictures in January. I picked January because I think it will help me have a goal right after the holidays... I�m going to be home (Wyoming) for Christmas and I have a feeling that losing weight will be out of the question. My goal for my vacation is to simply maintain my weight. (I�m just trying to be realistic...trust me - you�ve never tasted my mom�s stuffing....yum) And my other goal is to see 250 pounds....fifteen pounds less than the weight I was when my hubby & I started dating, ten years ago. Yes - can you believe I put on 125 pounds since we�ve been together??? Most men would�ve ran scared I think. But he�s a good one. He�s a keeper. I�m not the epitome of good choices today though....my breakfast was a chicken strip from the Deli case and cookie. I just woke up today and felt like I needed a free day. Not a �I�m going to eat til I puke or pass out� day. But more like a �I just wanted a cookie and a chicken strip for breakfast� kind of day. I am NOT the picture of perfection. Or am I? Actually, that just sparked me to think about perfection, and what it means to �dieters�. In the past, part of my problem was that I always tried to be �perfect� when attempting to diet. I thought perfect meant eating nothing but salad greens and brussel sprouts for every meal. I thought perfection was Tab cola and Sweet n� Low in my coffee, and a book of rules telling me what I can�t/cannot consume. I thought perfection was living in a state of miserable want, and dreading every minute of it. Now I know better. Perfection, for me, is room to breathe. Its allowing myself to indulge in the occasional slice of pumpkin pie w/ gloriously light whipped cream. Its knowing that each morning while I eat my standard oats & grain mixture, that I could have a bagel with real full-fat cream cheese and a cup of coffee for breakfast if I wanted to. Its permitting myself to wake up and decide that I�m NOT going to exercise that day. Sounds to good to be true? I guess it could be. Except that this is the type of perfection that works for me. The trick is having restraint, to exhibit moderation, to maintain awareness. I talk about this a great deal, I know. There is always a certain point now, when I know I�ve had enough. There is always a point when I say to myself, �Ok, Heather, you�ve indulged. Now get back on track.� That�s the key....getting back on track. It is learning to remind yourself that one brownie, or a single meal of lasagna & garlic bread isn�t going to make or break your success. Its remembering that what you do MOST of the time is going to add up to your success.* *This is the week before my period....a very tough time for me, eating-wise. So as I�m spouting off all this bullshit about being able to eat whatever you want...keep that in mind. I�ve been known to say things based purely on my hormonal surges at the time.. This has been a good month for me....but a month I�m not sure I understand. The scale has been moving down nicely despite two office parties, traveling out of town, a wedding, a couple of dinner dates in restaurants, a birthday party, a bachelorette party, and several Saturday nights at a local tavern. On top of this, I�ve only exercised an average of 5 � days a week this month. (I usually average about 6-6 � days of exercise.) I�m not complaining, at all. I just wish there was a rhyme or reason to the numbers on the scale... Mostly because when I�m dropping rapidly I want to know what I�m doing RIGHT! :) Other times I feel like I work so hard and the scale refuses to budge. Which brings me to another issue. Weight training. (Will the scale stop dropping once I begin building muscle mass?) Its not November 1st yet, so I still have a few days to get used to the idea. The reality is, that the weight bench is set up outside in a leaky, musty, condemned garage. There is no electricity, hence - no light. Its chilly to-the-bone Whine bitch moan whine bitch moan I say all this because I�m already dragging my feet about it. Would I feel this way if the weight set was conveniently located inside my comfy, warm house? I don�t know. Probably. Or, at least, it sure would be harder to find an excuse not to do it. Its hilarious, because I was just touting the benefits of weight training to my Dad - who then actually went out and bought a weight set & started lifting -!!! Yet I�m sitting here dragging my feet about doing it myself. Why why why why?? I fear I�m entering the PMS zone.... so its best if I just stop while I�m ahead. One cool thing - I now weigh only 2 pounds more than my driver�s license states. woo hoo!! 1:01 p.m. - 10/29/01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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