madermouse's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7/20/01 You know, we sit around at my work and talk about food all day long. There are a couple of really avid cooks who work there, including myself. Every day we discuss the new recipe we saw in Gourmet magazine, or we thumb through old 1927 cookbooks that someone dug out of their basement for a garage sale. Nearly every day, someone creates something to share with the the others - be it a cornmeal scone with cranberries, fresh homemade bread still warm from the oven, peach ice cream, or a tart with pastry cream and raspberries. A few weeks ago a co-worker brought in Mexican chocolate brownies with a luscious cinnamon caramel topping. We search online for everything from finding techniques used for cooking zucchini blossoms to locating that long-lost A&W coney hot dog sauce that we�d remembered eating as a teen. We love food. I think people in general, love food. It�s a singular pleasure that�s been ingrained in each one of us from birth. A baby breast-fed, seeking the soft nipple of a mother for nourishment....then drifting off to sleep in her arms. As a child, I remember lollipops at the bank drive through window - passed out as a reward for being good in the car. Who can forget Grandma�s chocolate chip cookies after school with an ice cold glass of milk. What could be more of a comfort than a cup of steaming hot cocoa and a piece of buttered toast on a cold Sunday morning while watching cartoons? True, my relationship with food has changed. It had to change, for me to change. And I still grapple with my old knee-jerk reaction to consume foods that aren�t healthy for me. I�m not sure if that will ever go away. But I distinctly recall going to the grocery store a couple of years ago, and really looking at my cart. It was one of those moments, in my life as an obese woman, when I allowed myself to be fully aware of my actions. I remember REALLY looking at the food in my cart, and I was completely mortified. Boxes of sugared cereals lined up next to chips and dips, fatty cuts of meat, full-fat cheeses (usually 2 or 3 kinds), ice cream, cinnamon rolls, Marie Callenders frozen heart-attack dinners, piles of lard-laden frozen burritos, whipping cream and butter, macaroni & cheese by the dozen and a couple of hot fried foods from the deli case topped it off. I remember feeling markedly embarrassed - my face reddened. I remember looking around me to see if anyone else had noticed my purchases. I examined my cart again - searching for a vegetable. There just HAD to be a vegetable. I unloaded my cart, piece by tortuous piece until I came to find the only vegetable I had managed to purchase. There, under a brick of Havarti, was a head of garlic and 2 shallots...the only vegetables I had managed to buy. Of course at that moment, I rationalized by saying it was winter and fruits & vegi�s aren�t good in the winter. But I knew the truth, and it wasn�t until years later that I allowed myself to know it. Food has changed in my life. But some things never change. I still love to cook and feed people. Now I use Cooking Light as one of my main sources of recipes. Now I spend more time in the fruit/vegi isle than I do in the rest of the whole store! Now I�m dreading winter because I�ll no longer have fresh peaches or juicy plums at my disposal. I use olive oil instead of butter, evaporated skim instead of whipping cream, and chicken broth instead of oil. I still love food and you can too! 12:32 p.m. - 7/20/01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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