madermouse's Diaryland Diary

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8/6/01

Communion

At a party, guests circle the appetizer table.

They graze, working their way from one end to the other

sampling tidbits of this, scooping up creamy bites of that.

The crunch of tortilla chips staccato between

the rustle of cellophane, the sipping of

cocktails, the clinks of ice in a glass.

I watch from afar,

the outsider.

I see their foraging,

so easy,

so free.

Caught up only in the chatter and laughter of friendly conversation,

they devour delectables with nary a thought of content,

or calories

or fat.

Their consumption is leisurely, undemanding.

they make no calculations,

no decision is greater than

which to eat next -

the smoked salmon canape

or the savory cheese tartlet?

I shift my weight in my seat,

feeling slightly uncomfortable.

the air is sticky

my stomach growls.

A friend comments on my weight-loss. �You look great!� he says.

I reply with a smile and a thank you that I�ve

learned to offer convincingly.

meanwhile my mind screams out

�Give me a chicken wing or I�ll rip your leg off!�

(yes, nice and rational.)

The table is clearing now,

only a few stragglers persist,

pushing one last shrimp through a spicy crimson sauce

having a final taste of sun dried tomato torte.

I stand, and approach the remains.

my mind calculates and deducts as

I reach for raw vegetables,

a teaspoon of dressing

a pea-sized dollop of pesto atop a single cracker

a solitary ounce of cheddar

two lonely shrimp

a buffalo wing

and a slice of fruit probably

meant for garnish.

and then it is over.

I back away, slowly,

knowing I�ve reached my limit.

My plate seems slightly bare, but its okay.

Because I relish every morsel and flavor.

I honor each bite with the sanctity of

a holy woman receiving communion,

being absolved of all

her sins.

and then its over.

Roaring laughter brings me to reality.

A friend looks in my direction and

waves me over.

I stand, smooth my dress,

and tuck wisps of hair back into place.

Another successful communion

under my belt,

I am exonerated, until

next time.

Momma

You and I

cut from the same cloth,

an expensive but strong one

cotton or silk.

We are varying shades of blue

from deep azure

to the color of your eyes

when sunlight catches them,

on an August afternoon

We are made into comforters

thick and soft

meant to warm the cold

and protect the delicate heads

of our babies

We are shaped into slippers

elegant, but practical

made to soothe the heals

of tired aching

feet

We are cut into dresses

billowy or sexy,

offering to flatter

the figure of any

woman

We are fashioned into sheets

wrung through the washer

hung on the line to dry

even in the freezing

cold of winter

We are the intricate quilts

passed from generations

telling the history

of our mother�s journey

before ours

We line the coffins

at the funerals

of our best friends

and our

enemies

cut from the same cloth,

you and I

expensive, strong, soft

elegant, practical, sexy

persevering even through the coldest, darkest moments

so we can live to pass on the stories of our mothers

and die with the respect of our best friends

our families

and ourselves.

Cut from the same cloth,

you and I.

and I wouldn�t want it any other way.

12:38 p.m. - 8/6/01

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