madermouse's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

June 4, 2001

Whew! Another loss this week. I felt a little nervous, because I went over my calories 4 out of 7 days this week. My saving grace is that I put in 12 miles of walk-aerobics and 12 miles of outside hilly walking this week too. Oh, and I had this fear that because I put up this website and shot off my mouth about my beliefs that they will suddenly stop working - rendering me totally full of shit! (I know, I know that's totally irrational...or is it?)

Oh, the honesty of a child. It got me the other day when I went to pick my husband up from the gym. He was working out on the treadmill, and I stood there talking him through his last five minutes, when this little girl walked up to me. She's the gym owner's daughter, and she's probably about 6 yrs old. She looks at me, eyes wide and says, "Hey lady - you have a really BIG dress on!" I laughed and agreed with her. Then she went off, skipping and crunching her cheetos.

Kids are so honest, so fresh. They haven't had the pressures of society to be tactful or know when to hold their tongue. It just goes to show that our experiences are all relative. When I graduated from high school, at 208lbs, I felt grossly overweight. Disgustingly overweight. Now, at 311lbs, I can honestly say that at 208 I'd feel like a million bucks. That little girl, growing up with active parents, spending time in a gym environment, probably has little contact with severely obese people. I must've looked like a giant to her.

On another subject, I'm an avid cook. I devour cookbooks like novels, and read cooking magazines & recipes like they are going out of style. This was one of the biggest challenges for me, when I changed my eating. My hubby and I used to go through a pound of butter a week! Every dinner was planned around a cheesy, rich meat dish coupled with cream sauces and butter-based gravies. I would go for a week with nary a vegetable passing my lips. Why eat vegetables when there is fried chicken, mashed potatoes with marscapone, hollandaise sauce over Eggs Benedict or steak nachos smothered in 3 kinds of cheese? I used to buy a pound of onions and fresh herbs and consider that my vegetable. Hell, I used to agree with the government that catsup could be considered a vegetable serving...(did you know this is true in school lunch programs?)

Anyway, the first thing I did was quit buying butter. Honestly, I do miss it sometimes. And the times that I really really miss it, I go buy ONE STICK, and I eat it on bread or pancakes or whatever until its gone. (So far I've only bought two sticks in 5 1/2 months.) And whenever I think about missing butter, I imagine how many sticks of butter I've lost from my body so far - 256 sticks to be exact.

Changing the way I cooked seemed impossible, at first. But much to my suprise I found all sorts of ways to brown meats, to thicken sauces and soups, to add flavor without fat. My friends still rave about my cooking, although its healthier than ever before. One of the most beneficial resources has been a magazine called Cooking Light which has real food for real people. No rabbit food here! If you are interested in seeing some light recipes on this website, e-mail me, and I'll look into posting some if there is enough interest.

11:47 a.m. - August 05, 2003

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry

other diaries: